Passing Notes in Potions
by wrongturn
Summary: Rons got unanswered questions... Harry wants to talk about Ginny and Cho... Hermione Won't explain anything... It isn't half as dramatic as I say. In fact, its funny and a bit fluffy. give it a go
1. Passing Notes in Potions

DISCLAIMER: 

I don't own these, 

But if _you_ do 

I REALLY don't own these 

So please don't sue 

:: heh. Poet in the making, aren't I? :: 

**Note passing in Potions**

_Setting: They're in potions class, with Hermione one side, Harry in the middle and Ron on the other side. So with that explained. Run Forest! Run! :: uh, I mean read... :: ::coughrunsawaycough_

Ron : hermione what's the answer? 

Harry: did you see Ginny today? Making a spectacle of herself with Dean 

Ron: don't give _ME_ the note - hermione what's the answer? 

Harry: well? 

Ron: give the note to hermione!!! 

Harry: *Glares at Ron* did you see Ginny today? making a spectacle of herself with DEAN! 

Hermione: What's wrong with that Harry? *narrows eyes* 

Harry: noth 

Ron: *snatches note* give me the answer! how much knotgrass?! 

Harry: I didn't say there was anything wrong with it. I just wanted to know if you saw that deeply disturbing and nightmarish scene. 

Hermione: What about Cho? 

Harry: what ABOUT Cho? 

Ron: *Looks over Harry's shoulder and snatches note* how much KNOTGRASS?! 

Harry: well? what ABOUT cho? 

Hermione: Nothing. 

Harry: well it has to be SOMETHING. 

Hermione: Only, Cho was doing the exact same thing - maybe more - with Michael Corner and you didn't do anything 

Harry: *passes note on* 

Ron: michael corner is a git. 

Harry: so is Dean. *passes note back to Ron* 

Ron: too right. 

Harry: two against one, Hermione. You might as well agree. 

Hermione: Harry, do you like Ginny now? 

Harry: NO! 

Ron: take ginny off dean, harry. Go on. hermione, how much not grass? 

Harry: i don't! 

Ron: the bells gone, hermione, quickly, how much knotgrass? 

Harry: there's Ginny now... *sigh* 

Ron: i'm going to tell her. how much knotgrass hermione! 

Harry: NO YOU WON'T! and its to late to add anything now. 

Ron: GIVE THE NOTE TO HERMIONE! 

Hermione: It's far too late to add anything now. 

Ron: *Glares at them* YOU _ HAD _ TO IGNORE ME ** DIDN'T YOU?** WHY DIDN'T YOU ANSWER ME HERMIONE? DONT TELL STUPID _RON_ THE ANSWER! WELL I HATE YOU TOO!!! 

Hermione: *indignantly* We are not adding Knotgrass in this potion, Ron. 

Author (that's me): 

Uh, R&R if you want, me apologises if that's too fluffy. (Have you ever heard people us that 'its four in the morning' excuse? Well, er, no, it was not four in the morning. Hell, I'm not even sure if it _was_ morning. 

Damn, there goes my excuse... :: coughflyforestflycough :: 


	2. Passing notes in the Great Hall

DICLAIMER: 

I once wrote a Potter fanfiction 

And the story was really bitchin' 

But disclaimers were few, 

And they wanted to sue 

But Potter is still an addiction 

::coughpleasesaythisisokcough:: 

Hah. What a nice little limerick. Maybe I should try Haiku's? 

~~~ _ hello, well, thanks for the encouragement, I wasn't planing on writing a further one, and that will be my excuse if this doesn't toll up with the last; but I tried! (I wrote this in pitch blackness on a yellow sticky pad -- but that's no excuse, because if its good enough to not let me sleep, then I suppose it has to be ok - but then if it __is_ rubbish, I really messed up. 

Uh, yeah. If that makes sense. 

_Setting: Harry and Ron in great hall at lunch time, Ginny and Dean are standing behind them, so they cannot speak freely. Hah, (bet you never thought I'd get past the 'why don't they just talk a lunch, huh?') and on with the story. _

Harry: is Ginny looking at me? 

Ron: nope. dean 

Harry: git. now? *holds up his plate so he can see the reflection of Dean and Ginny* 

Ron: _still_ dean 

Harry: *sulks* 

Ron: if it makes you feel any better, _i'm_ looking at you *wiggles eyebrows* 

Harry: stalker 

Ron: she's kissing him now 

Harry: **git**

Ron: *roles eyes* sore subject 

Harry: I mean you 

Ron: _ah_

Harry: did she just se me looking at her??? 

Ron: still dean 

Harry: gi ~ 

Ron: *snatches note* yes, i know, i know 

Harry: is she looking at me _now_

Ron: stop banging the damned spoon on your plate!!! 

Harry: IS SHE LOOKING YET?! 

Ron: cho is. 

Harry: well throw something at her, then. 

Ron: *grins evilly* 

Harry: AT CHO!! 

Ron: _erm..._

Harry: she's _STILL_ not looking, Ron 

Ron: you want me to throw something at her again?? 

Harry: **NO**. well, ok. *snorts and snatches the note back* what sort of throw was _that_?! 

Ron: shut up. At least i hit dean. 

Harry: fair enough. 

Ron: deans looking 

Harry: damn. 

Ron: so is cho 

Harry: quick! throw something at her! 

Ron: yes! _right_ in eye!! 

Harry: *applauds* 

Ron: _she's coming over_

Harry: **crap**

Ron: RUN!!! 


	3. Passing Notes in Transfiguration

Disclaimer: 

You know the drill 

_ Harry and Ron are sitting either side of Hermione in transfiguration. McGonagall has finishing handing out the mice, and has ordered silence _ It's not as good, as the other ones, but oh well. 

Hermione: Why did you desert me at lunch? 

Ron: noticed, did you? Weren't too busy writing to dear _Vikki_ then 

Hermione: Ron, I just asked where you and Harry ran off to? 

Ron: oh, is that it?! We ran off to Bulgaria to be with _Vikkibabydarlinghoneyvomithoney_

Harry: Hermione, don't talk about Krum in front of Ron. You should know better. 

Hermione: *indignantly angry* TELL ME WHY YOU RAN OFF _NOW_! 

Ron: to find krum 

Hermione: *calming down* Oh, Ron... 

Harry: Oh, Ron... 

Ron: shut up Harry. 

Hermione: Harry, _Cho_ wanted to talk to you 

Ron: *gives Hermione one final dark look* we know 

Harry: she's crazy 

Ron: *furiously underlines* really crazy. she's out to get us. (or at least Harry) 

Harry: thanks. *goes back to staring out the window* 

Hermione: she wanted to give your carrot back, Ron. 

Ron: what carrot could you possibly be talking about, Hermione? *eyes dart from side to side* 

Hermione: The carrot that hit her in the face, Ron. 

Ron: oh, _that_ carrot! why didn't you say it was the one i dropped? 

Hermione: *flatly* you just dropped the carrot. 

Ron: i dropped it *elbows Harry for back-up* 

Harry: *reads the note dazedly* and it bounced, 

Ron: and bounced 

Harry: and bounced. 

Hermione: And accidentally hit Cho in the eye?? 

Ron: **yes**. *Notices her lumpy pockets* You didn't bring them with you - _ did you _

Hermione: *Passes note onto Harry* 

Harry: you didn't! 

Hermione: *passes note on to Ron refusing to answer* 

Ron: not two great stinking carrots! 

Hermione: *flustered* Well - I thought you could - still might have been hungry! 

Ron: not hungry enough for cho's **eye juice!**

Hermione: *lays carrots on the table defiantly* 

Ron: *snorts* 

Harry: *pokes Hermione and points to McGonagall drawing closer* 

Hermione: *whips note away* 

~~~ Pause ~~~ 

Hermione: I CAN'T _BELIEVE_ you did that, Ron! 

Ron: did what? *whistles inconspicuously.* 

Hermione: Let her think you two had changed you rats into carrots! That's _what!_

Ron: mice. 

Hermione: It is the same thing. 

Ron: No. It's not. And we got ten points each, anyway. 

Hermione: Yes - but ~ 

Ron: *snatches note* no 'buts' 

Hermione: ~ 

*-*-*-*-*-*-* New bit of parchment *-*-*-*-*-* 

Hermione: I can't believe you said that! 

Ron: she might have believed I did it. 

Harry: Yeah. Right. 

Hermione: *passes not on for Ron to see* 

Ron: welcome little sleepy head. 

Hermione: Now, if you had said _I_ had changed _my _ mouse into parchment, _ then_ she might have believed it. 

Ron: what? and then get done for _defacing_ your precious transfiguration work? I'd rather see her face when she try's to undo mine and harry's ** transfiguration** on the carrot-mice-krum-faced-rats and can't. 

Hermione: *still frowning* It's still very dishonest of you. 

Ron: *glares at her* like you going around writing to _Vikki_ you mean? 

Hermione: *sighs* How on earth is that dishonest? 

Ron: if you don't know now, you'll never know. 

Hermione: Now that's just being silly 

Ron: so writing to him under cover of roast beef and pumpkin juice at lunch was not dishonest at ALL!!! *gets worked up again* 

Hermione: I have not written to him for over a _month_ Ron. *getting slightly frantic* Now, please tell me where on earth are yours and Harry's rats? 

Ron: er... 


	4. Passing Notes in Herbology

Disclaimer: 

I never thought I'd get sued 

But strangely; lawyers are shrewd 

Now I'm penniless and poor; 

Worse than before 

And I'm hungry without any food. 

Well, I am hungry... 

Passing notes in Herbology 

They are wearing earmuffs in herbology, so they cannot talk. (Communication is bad for relationships - does passing notes count, though? Who knows?) 

I know, I know. It's really bad. & I promise I'll do your idea next 'nothing lasts forever'/Shannon! It's just I'd already done the third chapter and half of this, and now I've got Harry trying to tell them about it. 

Thanks for your lovely reviews! Your really encouraging! 

Setting: _ Harry and Hermione are on either side of Ron, standing at a table (with a table cloth - thats vital) about to get some bobotuber pus (I don't know about the spelling) and like I said, they've got their ear muffs on. _

ps, I have nothing against Cho (well maybe only a little bit. perhaps.) oh yeah, i want to put in a good word for my 'channel four gameshow' story, written in the same format and stuff. its quite a good read if your waiting for me to write chapters and stuff. U_U 

Harry: *dramatically* Ron! Oh, Ron! I must confess all! 

Ron: pass me my dragon hide gloves 

Harry: its why I was thinking in Transfiguration 

Ron: you looked like you were straining yourself. erm, gloves, please? 

Hermione: *snatches note* Ron pass me the bobotubair 

Ron: hell, I ain't touching that 

Harry: you see ~ *Hermione snatches note* 

Hermione: pass me my bobotubair, or by God I swear it will be the last thing you do. 

Ron: is that how you even spell it 

Hermione: Of course, I'm never wrong. 

Ron: harry, gloves please 

Hermione: I thought I was once, but I made mistake. Now I need to extract the puss before Professor Sprout fails us all. 

Ron: Oh, the woes! 

Hermione: Ron, why on earth are you under the table 

Ron: *hand passes note out from under the table* HARRY! CHO. IS. PEERING. THROUGH. THE. WINDOW. GET. YOUR. SORRY. ASS. UNDER. HERE. IF. YOU. WANT. TO. LIVE. 

Hermione: Now really you two. Don't be so childish. Come out now. 

Ron: hermione, I am serious. if you love us at all, you will not point her to us. 

Hermione: she's coming in! 

Ron: stall! - Harry, I'll think of a plan to get you out of here. 

Hermione: Oh really Ron, what's the worst she can do? 

Ron: well, first there were the poisoned carrots... 

Hermione: They most certainly were _not_ poison 

Ron: did you eat them? 

Hermione: well no... 

Ron: Hah! 

Hermione: That is so childi - *Rons hand comes out and snatches the note* 

Ron: I have a plan! 

Harry: We can't kill anyone 

Ron: then I have another plan _[cheesey I know, but I had to put it in]_

Harry: but if you meant Cho, then I'm all for it. 

Ron: hermione, I have two plans. One, you throw your little bobotuber thing in cho's face, and harry makes a brake for it. Or 2, you whack cho around the head with the nearest blunt object you can find, ('accidentally' *wink wink* killing Cho) leaving Harry free from danger and out of harms way. 

Harry: wow that was long *Ron snatches note and sticks hand out from under the table* 

Hermione: That is long Ron, and without a spelling mistake too. 

Ron: *thrusts note back* 

Hermione: I will not attack anyone. No more notes. Cho's coming over. 

Ron: harry, if I pull Cho's ankles out from under her, you run to safety! 

Harry: I can't leave you behind Ron! your so brave! 

Ron: desperate times, call for desperate measures. don't ever forget me. 

Harry: I can here them talking. 

Ron: HERMIONE'S TELLING HER WHERE WE ARE!!! 

Harry: **TRAITOR!**

Ron: she's bending down! 

Harry: Turn the table over on three: one 

Ron: two 

Harry: one 

Ron: seven 

Harry: *deep breaths* THREE! 

Ron: *gulps* 

Harry: I have a better plan. Get the bobotuber puss, and then well pour it on her feet. 

Ron: she won't be able to walk for a week!!! 

Harry: right, all you need to do is come out from under the table, grab the bubotuber and then squeeze. 

Ron: she'll see me!!! 

Harry: not if your clever 

Ron: *rolls eyes and crawls to out the other side of the table* 

Harry: **GREAT!!!** now pour it. quick before she moves away!! 

Ron: *squeezes* 

Harry: _ooh. that looks swollen _

Ron: *agony filled face* 

Harry: *weakly* No, Ron, don't - 

Ron: *screws eyes up* 

Harry: OK, just relax, plan b 

Ron: *decides to look at his hands for the first time after trying to ignore the excrutiating pain* 

Harry: on three; _ONE_

Ron: ***SHRIEKS***

Harry: **RUN!!!**

See, if you have not skipped the whole thing, you survived. It wasn't _too_ bad, eh? (and have you noticed how much Ron's been in it?) So, until next time I raid the bins for their old notes, check out *a channel four gameshow* ~ bye!! 


	5. Passing Notes in the Hospital Wing

Harry and Ron are in the hospital wing, but they don't want madam Pomfrey noticing Harry's there, so they are sending notes, crossing their fingers, and hoping for the best. Ron: HARRY. CHO. IS. HERE. AGAIN. IN. THAT. BED. 

Harry: God dammit. How many _are_ there of her? 

Ron: _ dear lord their multiplying!_

Harry: *dryly* If they all start crying, we'll have a flood in no time. 

Ron: I'm about to start crying. You and your stupid plans, Harry. _Look_ at my hands! 

Harry: well, you should have asked me to pass you your gloves, then. 

Ron: ***speechless**

Harry: *snatches note* are you going to answer or not? *shoves it back* 

Ron: well its kind of hard when your best friend is and inconsiderate prick, and your hands are all puffy and swollen. Not to mention the fact that it feels like someone it stabbing my hands every time i _write_!!! 

Harry: good, because now I can talk to you. comprende? 

Ron: what? 

Harry: nothing. 

Ron: tell me 

Harry: _nothing_

Ron: are you sure you spelled it right? 

Harry: noth - _ YES I AM!_

Ron: *huffy* well, are you going to tell me what you were going to tell me, or not? 

Harry: *grumbles* cho found me 

Ron: **liar!**

Harry: *indignant* before transfiguration! when we split up! I knocked that suit of armour over, remember? and you cackled and ran off. 

Ron: *pink* what, er... suit of... er, amour, Harry? What could you _possibly_ ~ 

Harry: *snatches note* oh, ronald weasley, i think you know. Well, anyway, Cho was running after us, and she was all pink see. And then she saw _me_ and she started crying. 

Ron: _Shock, shock! Horror, horror! Shock, shock!_ [it's a song, people? You know?] 

Harry: what? and will you stop taking so damn long to write? 

Ron: *flatly* it is a song harry. 

Harry: *backs away* _OooooK_. Now, she's there, and she's crying all over me. But I don't have a tissue see - or a hanky. Who carries around a _hanky?_ anymore? 

Ron: *Cackles* Harry says hanky! Hanky! Hanky! **Hanky**

Harry: *blushes* no I didn't. you read it wrong. it clearly says hankercheif.

Ron: hanky hanky hanky!!! 

Harry: _Shut up!!!_

Ron: hanky panky harry bear 

Harry: bear? 

Ron: *shrugs* 

Harry: So anyways, there I am with no tissue, but a piece _parchment_ we'd written our Great Hall notes on. so what would you do? let your blow her nose on you or avoid it at all cost? 

Ron: i'd let her blow her nose on _you_

Harry: *ignores Ron* so I hand her the parchment. And she does her *business* on it. 

Ron: she blows her nose, harry, so what? 

Harry: she wiped her eyes, too! 

Ron: do you have a point? 

Harry: so there I am, standing there, and SHE'S GOT INK **ALL** OVER HER FACE, and what am I supposed to do? 

Ron: er, _tell_ her? 

Harry: and then she see the parchment, and she starts reading it. 

Ron: great going harry! Now she'll want to kill **me** too!!! It's bad enough having to save YOUR sorry ass! But now _me?!_

Harry: news flash Ron. you were the one who threw the poisoned carrot at her in the first place! 

Ron: It wasn't **poison**!!! 

Harry: that's not what you said an hour ago. *wiggles eyebrows* 

Ron: shut up. 

Harry: *Ron snatches note back* 

Ron: hanky panky harry bear *imitates Harry's wiggling brows* 

Harry: and then, anyway. She saw her name! And then what was I supposed to tell her? 

Ron: that you had been writing terrible, TERRIBLE things about the poor child and now the ink and snot was all over her face. 

Harry: you do that, and look where that got you! 

Ron: don't get mad 

Harry: you can't tell whether I'm getting mad. I'm writing for Christ's sake. 

Ron: *patiently* yes harry. But you are writing angrily. 

Harry: if that isn't the most stupidest thing I have ever heard. 

Ron: see, and you've made it all neat and loopy now. _ to throw me off the scent_

Harry: your point? 

Ron: my point _was_ that you were waking Cho up with your evil scratching quill. 

Harry: *looks around shiftily* 

Ron: sneak out, now. I'll distract her. 

Harry: how? 

Ron: I don't know. did _hermione_ *scowls* get back the carrots of McGonagall? 

Harry: yeah. but she still has them 

Ron: *sigh* well, I'll think of something. Got now before she sees!!! 

Harry: we'll meet again!! 

Ron: just go. 

Harry: _you_ take the note this time 

Ron: harry! madame pomfrey's coming! 

Harry: no... no... she's seen me!!! 

Madame Pomfrey *shouts* "HARRY POTTER! WHAT IN HEAVENS NAME DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING HERE!! MY STUDENTS NEED BED REST!!!" 

Ron: Hanky Panky Harry 

hi! if you've got this far through every chapter, pass go and collect £200 hundred. Monopoly? 

Anyway. any ideas or anything, I'm pretty open minded. 


	6. Passing Notes in the Hospital Wing in th...

DISCLAIMER: I'm sorry, but I can't remember if a haiku is 5, 7, 5??? I don't know. Someone will have to get back to me on that. 

Potter books used to be four 

But with brilliance, there's been one more 

Now we wait for the sixth; 

Though I'm content with fan fics' 

Damn. Those lawyers are still at my door. 

**Passing Notes In The Hospital Wing Again**

Ron: why do you have Cornflakes' on your face? 

Harry: *grumbling* **liar**

Ron: I. AM. SERIOUS. YOU. HAVE. CORNFLAKES. ALL. OVER. YOUR. FACE. 

Harry: *rolls over so Ron can't see him* your eyes must be wobbly. 

Ron: no! there is really! 

Harry: maybe we should forget we had this conversation 

Ron: harry! look! there _is!_

Harry: *getting annoyed* I don't think you really mean what you are saying. _Ron_ *meaningful look* 

Ron: no! look - I'll get you the mirror! *reaches for a mirror* 

Harry: *slaps hand away very violently* **I KNOW ABOUT THE DAMN HEX ALREADY!!!**

Ron: _oh_

Harry: *deep breaths* 

Ron: _ then why did you ~ _

Harry: *snatches note* I didn't want to talk about it. 

Ron: Oh. 'K, then. 

Harry: *twiddles thumbs* 

Ron: *hums to himself* 

Harry: *drums fingers* 

Ron: _how did you ~_

Harry: I got into a fight with Dean 

Ron: _dean_ DEAN?! 

Harry: yes. dean. 

Ron: did you throw anything at him, Harry? because then i can understand him attacking you 

Harry: _**no!**_

Ron: *raises eyebrows* 

Harry: only a cup. 

Roh: _only?_

Harry: of pumkin juice 

Ron: *goggles* 

Harry: I tripped! 

Ron: then bounced. 

Harry: and bounced. 

Ron: and bounced. 

Harry: until I hit into him 

Ron: with you cup. 

Harry: while I was on the other side of the room 

Ron: yeah, that's the story. 

Harry: and there he goes, blowing it _all_ out of proportion 

Ron: how, exactly? 

Harry: oh, making up some rubbish how I got him all wet. you know he rants a lot 

Ron: well, not _really..._

Harry: saying I've been throwing stuff at him _all day_

Ron: **he's a liar!!!**

Harry: *passionately* I know!!! 

Ron: er... harry? I was, er... joking. 

Harry: **liar!!!**

Ron: well you _have_ been throwing things at him... and cho. 

Harry: that was _you!!!_

Ron: yes, harry. but I am not the one who gets _blamed_ for these things, am i? 

Harry: *silence* 

Ron: harry? 

Harry: do you want to know something? 

Ron: I know everything. 

Harry: *deep breath* 

Ron: well, er, if... ahem... _hermione_ doesn't then... er, I'll listen! 

Harry: *perkily* that's the attitude. so, do you want to know something? 

Ron: what? *rolls eyes* 

Harry: *grins stupidly* I hexed myself 

Ron: *silence* **liar**. 

Harry: *still grinning* 

Ron: YOU STUPID PRICK! WHAT IN HELLS NAME DID YOU DO THAT FOR?!?!!? 

Harry: *flatly* to get Dean in trouble 

Ron: please tell me you did not just tell me that 

Harry: *twiddles thumbs* 

Ron: *hums to himself* 

Harry: *drums fingers* 

Ron: *Keeps on hummin'* 

Harry: I did. 

Ron: *still hummin'* 

Harry: *pokes Ron's swollen hands* 

Ron: *curses a lot* *headbutt's Harry* 

Harry: *Moans* Will you just read the note? PLEASE? I said 'I did' 

Ron: *reads note* you didn't... do it in _public_ did you? because if you stood in the middle of the Great hall and start cursing away at yourself, it's not going to look very convincing 

Harry: I'm not stupid Ron. 

Ron: *looking doubtful* 

Harry: but he did attack me 

Ron: *wheedling* and _then_ he turned you into a cornflake face? 

Harry: no! 

Ron: *suspicious* what exactly does _'no_' mean? 

Harry: *puts a pillow over his own head* 

Ron: i'm starving. 

Harry: ignores him 

Ron: perhaps about a bowl of... of... **CORNFLAKES**

Harry: HOW DARE YOU!!! 

Ron: I didn't do it on purpose!! 

Harry: LIAR!! 

Ron: OK then... erm... well then... **PUMPKIN JUICE!!**

Harry: *gasps* 

Ron: you didn't need to roll onto the floor 

Harry: HOW DARE YOU!! 

Ron: you forgot the last exclamation 

Harry: LIAR!!! 

Ron: *waits for Harry to climb back onto the bed* i'm still hungry though. 

Harry: but I'm glad I didn't eat any of the poison carrots, 

Ron: *stomach grumbles* 

Harry: what did madame pomfrey just say? 

Ron: apparently cho volunteered to get our lunches 

Harry: *Ron snatches the note off of him* 

Ron: HARRY. WHAT. IF. HERMIONE. EATS. THE. **POISONED**. CARROTS?! 

Harry: *blankly* why would she?! 

Ron: *just as blankly* I _don't_ know. 

Harry & Ron: *stare out the window for a couple of minutes* 

Harry: there's Cho with our lunches 

Ron: Harry? 

Harry: yeah? 

Ron: *slightly panicked* are there _carrots_ on our plates? 

-*-*-*-*-* DUN DUN DUN!! 

Um, yeah. I hope you like it. hmm. & thanks, yes, for the reviews. They're really nice. And nice of people to post over again. And especially to GoodCharlotte. Or *Britney. Whatever you've changed your name to - for posting loads (and loads). *Hands you the review crown*. Heh. 


End file.
